“And it’s stupid when they say, ‘You only use your body. You are an object of men.’ No, I’m the subject. I’m not an object.” – Sabrina Salerno, Italian singer and showgirl, 1988 A hard-bodied […]
Author: elbee
Grumpire Founder and Editor-in-Chief.
REVENGE OF THE CHEAPIES: AN INTRODUCTION TO ‘BIG B’
Amateur street racers fire grappling hooks into the sky, take down a military cargo plane, and save the world. A zoologist whispers kindly to a kaiju-sized ape, surrounded by the complete destruction of a city, […]
CHRISTMAS IS GOING TO THE DOGS
Earlier this week we published a piece examining the celluloid representation of the Christmas Spirit in relation to Charles Dickens’ seminal novella A Christmas Carol. The author noted that dogs often epitomize the Spirit of […]
YOU ARE NOT YOUR COTTON CANDY GUN™: A RE-EVALUATION OF ‘KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE’
“PT Barnum said it so long agothere’s one born every minute, don’t you know” – The Dickies Editor’s note: Originally this article was going to be a true-to-life Piss-Take. I have spent several adult years […]
HAIR HELMETS & POLKA DOTS: THE CORNY AUTHENTICITY OF ‘BACK TO THE BEACH’
“Not many people can cha cha chaNot everybody can do the twistBut everybody can do the SkaIt’s the new dance you can’t resist” ~ old Jamaican proverb* A woman and man are walking hand in […]
MIXTAPE: SHOEGAZE FOR SUMMER
Shoegaze might have a reputation for being gloomy, dejected, and wintry, but with this post, I’m here to argue that there’s no better style of music for a day at the beach than shoegaze. Just […]
AUDIO FANFICTION: ‘BENEDETTA’
I’m not sure if I think Benedetta is a great movie. But as a late-period Paul Verhoeven movie, I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt. Even though visually it remains barely interesting and the […]
NEW IN ACTION: MARCH/APRIL 2022
Join The Grumps as we bring you a selection of what’s new and now in the Action genre. Strap in for Round-house Round-Up! from elbee: THE ADAM PROJECT (2022) [NEW IN THEATERS AND ON NETFLIX] […]
AUDIO FANFICTION: ‘THE SCARY OF SIXTY-FIRST’
Popularity, I think, is irrelevant in film critique. Increasingly common in film writing is the practice of saying something favorable to please a crowd who already loves a thing; it’s no secret we started Grumpire […]
BHYH: INTRO TO DUNGEON SYNTH
This Halloween season we’re headed down a different path than the blanketed heavy metal, silly old novelty songs, psychobilly freakout, or block-of-Michael-Jackson-followed-by-Ray-Parker-Jr. for our party music. This is a path that leads deep into the […]
AUDIO FANFICTION: ‘MALIGNANT’
Earlier this week we published a thoughtful piece on James Wan’s latest horror offering, Malignant. Whether or not anyone had the same takeaway from the film as the author, I felt good publishing the essay […]
‘JOHNNY GUITAR’: A WESTERN DREAM
Editor’s Note: an earlier version of this essay first appeared at Cinepunx.com A long time ago, Francois Truffaut, maker of fancy French films, thought this little American Western called Johnny Guitar had such grace that […]
‘AMER’ AS A REPRESENTATION OF OUR PSYCHOSEXUAL OBSESSION WITH DEATH
“Love, art thou sweet? then bitter death must be;Love, thou art bitter; sweet is death to me.O Love, if death be sweeter, let me die.” — Alfred, Lord Tennyson As a major motion picture, Amer […]
THE VISUAL AND COMEDIC ABSURDITY OF ‘TORQUE’
“Cars suck,” the not-so-hidden message in the opening scene of Joseph Kahn’s 2004 action piece Torque, presents itself with cocksure bravado via a super-stylized spinning street sign. The sequence, a late addition to the movie, […]
AUDIO FANFICTION: ‘SOUTHLAND TALES’
Richard Kelly is as divisive a director as they come. Stylish, moody, and dabbed with dark humor, allusions to morality, and unusually relatable situations, his three feature films to date (Donnie Darko, Southland Tales, The […]