Fans of extreme cinema and brutal horror tend to forgive and expect low production quality in exchange for visceral and realistic gore, top-notch practical effects, and often buckets and buckets of bodily fluid. The general […]
Author: Justin Harlan
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE BITCH, PLEASE
IT’S A BLOODY PISS TAKE! WOULD YOU EXPECT ANYTHING LESS FROM US GRUMPS? To the tune of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”/“Silver Shamrock Theme”:It’s been a week since Halloween, Halloween, HalloweenIt’s been a week since […]
‘THE DISMEMBERED’: THE LOST PENNSYLVANIA HORROR THAT PRE-DATES ROMERO
There are numerous horror films from the mid-century era that I could have chosen to discuss. In fact, many of them are far better films than the one I chose. You see, 1962’s regional horror […]
LIVING IN A GRAY AREA: ‘BONE TOMAHAWK’ AND MORAL COMPASS
Set in a blazing hot desert, Bone Tomahawk opens with David Arquette’s Purvis slitting a man’s throat. Almost immediately thereafter, we meet his partner-in-crime, Buddy (Sid Haig), who lectures Purvis on the proper way to […]
AUDIO FANFICTION: LIFE A QUARTER MILE AT A TIME
The Fambly is back with the ninth film in the main franchise and the 11th film that takes place in the Fast universe. In honor of the release of F9: The Fast Saga, today’s mixtape features 11 […]
VICIOUSLY SEXY MERMAIDS: EROTIC VIOLENCE IN ‘THE LURE’
Before I dive headfirst into my Weird Boner selection (it’s about mermaids, so “dive”, get it?), I need to begin with my introduction to the phrase “weird boners” itself. I used to co-host a podcast […]
ESCAPIST CINEMA: WE CAN’T GET AWAY FROM ‘THE RUNNING MAN’
The following piece was finished early on Monday morning, not knowing the great Yaphet Kotto would be pronounced dead in just a matter of hours. While The Running Man is very clearly an Arnold vehicle start to […]
OVERLOOK THE HYPE: A BLOODY PISS-TAKE ON ‘THE SHINING’
Stanley Kubrick was a cinematic genius – an asshole, sure, but a brilliant filmmaker. Capturing amazing shots of both realistic scenes and fantastical ones, Kubrick had the type of eye for framing, lighting, and staging […]
HUMBUG: A BLOODY PISS-TAKE ON THE ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS HORROR SERIES
It’s the most wonderful time of the year…or so we’re told. While it’s got its share of big family fun and lovely gifts, Christmastime is also when families get together to brawl, rehash our fights […]
A BLOODY PISS-TAKE: WHY ‘FRIDAY THE 13TH’ SUCKS
It’s time to take the bloody piss: in the first installment of this series based on new columnist Justin Harlan’s idea “Why Your Favorite Horror Movie Sucks,” we’re tackling the revered slasher franchise that many […]