For years, decades, centuries, millennia, Bill S. Preston, Esq. and Ted “Theodore” Logan have been lauded as the most premium examples of stoner metalheads in modern cinema. We here at Grumpire, however, think the boys might have been a little miscategorized by the masses; a more thorough look into their characters will reveal the duo are much more complex than one may imagine.

Make no mistake about it, Bill & Ted represent a very specific demographic within Generation X. This generation saw the rise of punk, metal, and hip-hop. And the demo seen here is that of the Southern California Skater Dude (which itself is a spin-off from the Surfer Dude). Stoner culture does overlap with both Surfer and Skater, however, it is scant even referenced in the films. What is referenced and is indeed the main feature of these two beloved “cool dorks” is that they are slackers: underachievers to the extreme. Underachievers with impressive vocabulary skills, might we add.

But their fashion sense is very slap dash SoCal skate — pre-pop punk skate. Pre-Hot Topic. Pre-Famous Stars and Straps. But very Bones Brigade. The odd thing about the Bill & Ted films is that they aren’t presented as skaters, but are presented as skate punks by their fashion alone. And by this presented fashion we can assume what they would truly be into musically, rather than what the film purports. It ain’t exclusively butt rock and hair metal, that’s for sure.

That T.S.O.L. patch is proof enough.

So to compliment the long-awaited release of Bill & Ted Face The Music on VOD today, we’ve compiled this week’s mixtape with this theme in mind. We took a mental trip back to the late ’80s and early ’90s SoCal (no phone booth required) and re-imagined what music a couple of triumphant slackers like Bill & Ted might actually be into; it’s a mix of early alternative, skate punk, alt-rap, alt-metal, and sure, some “regular” metal, too (with a few tracks heavily under the influence of a couple of discerning Medieval Princesses with rockin’ taste — can you tell which ones?). Also included towards the end of the 69 total tracks are a few selections “from the future” that we think wouldn’t exist without Wyld Stallyns in the first place.

So sit back and listen to this auditory trip through time and music with our version of Bill & Ted’s Most Excellent Mix!


Fill your minds, hearts, and ears with more Audio Fanfiction! And don’t forget to follow along on Spotify for all our boss playlists!